So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So many bounce houses so little time
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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