sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
