We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize