I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
