I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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