So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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