hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
