Who wears a wallet chain?!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize