I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
