i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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