She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
