i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
