I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
