Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My feet surprised me
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