i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
