I think I just saw someone hide a body.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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