I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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