I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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