So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
