i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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