So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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