dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
