my mouth tastes like poor choices
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
