i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
