@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
