maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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