btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
