WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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