I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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