I will die if light touches me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize