I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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