she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
