I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
