how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
