her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
