glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
