Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
