Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize