It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
