She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
