discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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