Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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