Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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