have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This baby is an asshole
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
