Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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