just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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