He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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