miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
