I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My vagina is officially offended.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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