birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
