I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
