Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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