At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
