What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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