We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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