Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
