Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
